How someone feels, how they think, or what makes them tick…
We really don’t know, do we?
The challenge is that it’s often all too easy to assume, guess, or even hope that what we think someone is thinking or feeling is what’s actually happening for the other person.
Why do we do this?
Perhaps because it’s easier. Perhaps because actually asking someone how they feel or think requires us to take a step into their world and leaves us at least momentarily, vulnerable and uncertain.
In those moments of potential change, our minds resist and seek a fixed experience of perceived peace. One that it says comes only when everything is in order, and everything has its place.
But the heart, the heart and soul are always in an ever-expanding communion with Life.
And Life, my friends, is always in a state of flux.
Thank goodness that’s the case.
Like still water that begins to collect mold and bacterial growth, stagnation often appears when we become too fixed on who we think we are or who the other person should be.
Life, it seems, can be a process of cause and effect. And the cause is always changing and different in each moment, with each breath.
Every conversation changes us, every blow of wind, or setting sun touches aspects of our minds, bodies, and soul. Whether these changes are seen only on the surface or felt deeply within our being, the ever-evolving dance of Life creates the living painting we call our lives.
Consider that the most meaningful relationship we can ever have is the one with ourselves. Recognizing there is a natural desire within us to evolve, to grow, to dance, and get to somewhere else, even if that someplace is simply to work, the gym, or the fridge.
When it comes to intimacy and relationship with others, it is perhaps even more important to remember that as much as we are changing, so is everyone else.
It seems generous, kind, and wise to give the same freedom of change and evolution we each desire to others as well.
To grant them the grace to change, be moved, and touched by Life and each breath of unfolding love.
This isn’t always easy when our minds constantly desire stability and certainty. It can be said that our ability to find our way to the eye of the storm is what allows us to stand in the point of an ever adjusting and readjusting balance.
Something I offer my clients are tools to help them recognize and stand in their center point, one that is always moving and shifting. Like a skillful surfer upon an ever-changing wave, the process of learning how to ride the tides of Life and love can be challenging, require practice, and demand the exercising of both faith and patience.
But as anyone who has ever ridden a wave, glided down a snowy mountaintop, or felt the rush of wind through their hair as they jumped from heights carried by nothing but wind and Spirit, it is in these moments when our minds have nothing to do and our bodies nowhere to go besides the present moment that we uncover the joyful union of Spirit and our humanity.
Perhaps though, before we jump out of a plane or get sand between our toes, the most available place to be is right where we are. Some may call this meditation. I would simply call it coming home. With the breath and stillness, with gentle presence feeling the souls of our feet and the weight of our bodies against the ground.
Life, it seems, is always and continually inviting us to step back into the present and the partnership that is available with each moment.
Wherever you are, however you are, I would invite you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and as you exhale and your body empties, just before your next inhale, allow yourself for just a moment, this moment, to let go and come home.
Rinse and repeat, with love.
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